EX GIRLFRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS

We all have them. There are some you wish that you never dated. Your life would have been much better if you never meet them. The fights, the lies, the heartache.....left from the shambles that was the relationship. Then there were the ones that you never forget...never want to forget....because you wish they were still in your life. You stayed up till the sun rose the next day talking to them, sharing the many hours of laughter and tears, remembering that first time you made love to each other, and hearing the sweet sound of "I love you" come from their lips. You feel the world has ended when that day comes in losing them. In either case, you move on, farther in life and make new relationships, but you never leave the memories behind.

However, what happens when you remain friends with your ex afterwards? Does it become harder to know that the other is moving on with you? You see them laugh with another and you wonder if that was the same laugh that they had with you. Does it drive you crazy with jealousy that you are not the focus of their life? And will this feeling end when you find someone else? Is it true that is better to have love and lost then to have never loved before?

I guess the reason behind this entry is that I had an unusual dream about my last girlfriend last night. We dated for about five months and this was actually my longest relationship I have had. You know how it is....it starts out great when you meet, everybody thinks she is perfect for you....but after awhile things change, you know more about the other, and you start to grow apart. In the dream, I am coming out of a shopping center/store into the parking lot. I see three people walk toward me to store. As they get closer, I see it is my ex-girlfriend hanging on the arm of another man and with her best friend. She has changed her looks....less innocent but more mature. They laugh and smile like there is no care in world. As I walk past them, we both see each other gazing at the other. She gives me a stare like you give to someone who you recognize from your past but can't remember when and where you meet them. She doesn't say anything and I don't say a word either....we just past each other under the lights of the parking lot. It lasts a few seconds but it feels as though time stands still for this stare. She then turns around, laughing and carrying on with her new love and best friend and I go to my car, alone in the dark.
I guess that's what I am afriad of with any relationship....to be forgotten, to be passed on. I do not want to be just a memory or just another face in the crowd that you pass by. But we all have to face that fear....we face the fact that we move on.

WE JUST MOVE ON