New Year's Eve Poem

Today is New Year’s Eve,
the last day of the year.
Let’s all go out and celebrate,
with alcohol and beer.

We begin to say to ourselves,
“Thank God the year is over!”
Soon a new year will come,
let’s hope I’m not sober!

People start crowd into the streets,
all ages from young to the old.
They all start to think one thing,
“Damn! My ass is cold!”

We look forward to a brand new year,
as the stroke of midnight sounds.
We start by making our resolutions,
let’s hope we lose those extra pounds.

I tell myself that for this coming year,
I will finally find my soulmate!
However, I don’t think it’s a good start,
when you throw up on your date!

Let us ring in the New Year,
keep the alcoholic beverage pouring!
I know I will wake up late,
with a damn hangover in the morning!

So I wish you a Happy New Year,
let’s hope 2003 is not a waste!
It won’t be since you will be working hard,
at losing the 3 inches off your waist!

Out with the old, In with the new!

Well, I figured I might add in some question and answer time on here! Here some questions that I wanted to pass along. I'd like to see everybody do this too!

1. What was your biggest accomplishment in 2002?

My biggest accomplishment in 2002 was finally getting a real job that I enjoyed and didn't involve rude customers and poop! The last year and a half, after finishing college, I went from working in the ticket office at Monticello to working at the SPCA and back to Monticello to working several different positions there! It was on Jan. 2nd of 2002 that I started working for Autosport. I started as a lonely "administrative assistant" but got a promotion in the middle of the year to Dropship Data Specialist and making more money!

2. What are your goals for 2003?

Well, right now, I'm focusing on my biggest goal which is building my own house! I'm the process of getting a loan, completeing the paper work, and looking into designs for a house! Other than that, my goals are to lose weight and get fit because I might go to Hawaii next Thanksgiving with my folks! Also, I like to find that special someone this year so I can take them with me when I go to Hawaii!

3. What was your biggest disappointment of 2002?

Well, for me, it was the death of my great uncle Bob. When he died, my parents took it hard! They went up to see him in Massachusetts every couple weeks until his death in April!
Also, I also have to say that I'm disappointed that I haven't found a long term realtionship this year. I did date a few women, who are still very special to me, but I didn't feel that it was long term! It is also true about friendships. I made a few more friends this year but I wish I could have made more. I didn't push myself to meet more people or hang around my old friends more!

4. Is there anything that you are going to miss about 2002? Are there memories about that year that makes it special?

Actually I will remember 2002 alot. I did get more experience from relationships this year though they weren't as long as I wanted them to be. I hope I can gain more experience in 2003.

5. Do you have a New Year's resolution?

I actually have a few of them. One is trying to lose weight and be more healthy. Hopefully I can lose at least 20 pounds before I go to Hawaii next year! Secondly, I want to be less aloof, or in other words, not as distant or reserved as I normally am. I want to open up more to my friends and be more of a friend to them. I want to meet more people and make new friends!

WA HOO WA!!!

My beloved Virginia Caviliers won the Continential Tire bowl today!!! Whooo hooo! They beat the West Virginia Mountaineers....oh, sorry, beat is an understatement!!! The whoooped their asses!!!! I hope now that Virigina can get a little more respect!

Does anybody work at ICF consulting? I was looking to get a job there in it's Northern Virginia office months ago but never received word back from them! Oh well, that's the past.

Oh, I've been told that I am aloof!!! I found out what it means today! Am I really removed or distant either emotionally or physically??? I don't want to be aloof anymore!!! Tell me...please tell me....how do I not be aloof???

Future Wish List

I was looking through the internet to check out what I want to put on my wish list for 2003 Christmas list. I found this link on the Lego's: Star Wars website. It's animation of several scenes from each of the Star War's movies. But here's the kicker....they use lego's in place of the animation! It' s pretty cool so check it out! I know, I know...I'm a bit old to be playing with Lego's but I don't care!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!!

Post Christmas Spirit

I am personally glad to have Christmas over and done with this year! It just seems at times too materialistic these days. Most of us spend more time and money for just one day instead of celebrating the joy of having family and friendship everyday. I know it sounds sappy but I feel it’s true. I have to honestly say that it is harder for me to get to really enjoy Christmas because my birthday is the day before Christmas. It’s true what they say…I do get ripped off…but not in the way that you think. I don’t really care about getting presents that are meant for both my birthday and Christmas. No….what I do really care about is the acknowledgment that I get for my birthday in the shadow of Christmas. I often get ripped off because it’s been the case that people will forget my birthday in the spirit of the Christmas rush. All I need….all I want.....is a simple card, an email, or just a simple phone call that just says those few words....the acknowledgement that makes me happy and joyous. All I need and all I want is just to be remembered by those that I cared about.
In so being that I do not want to feel this way, these last few years I have wanted to be as I have wanted in my quest to give acknowledgement. It’s the golden rule of caring really…..if you want to be remembered, then you have to remember yourself for others needs. I have tried to think about other’s birthdays, to send maybe a simple card, or an email, or just a phone call to both my family and friends to say that I am remembering them on their birthday. I may not make a difference because they may have already had their family, friends, and significant others give them that birthday message, but I hope to make some contribution of remembrance even if they don’t even reciprocate. I tried to do my best, to remember everyone’s birthday.
Still, not everyone remembers. Even though most of the people I know acknowledged my birthday in some form or another, there are a few friends and even family that forget or do even acknowledge all together. It especially hurts when it’s someone close to you. My grandmother did not acknowledge my birthday this year, nor even the last few years. I can say it’s because she is getting old and doesn’t remember, but I learned from my mom that my grandmother doesn’t even acknowledge her own daughter’s birthday! I may understand but it still hurts. All you want for your birthday is that one person to say those few words that makes your day bright, yet when it does not come, you feel alone and unwanted. That explains why I may take the time to acknowledge a friend or family member’s birthday.
So in turn, when that person’s birthday what do you do? It is very easy to just not acknowledge their birthday, to not even send a card, write an email, or just call. Why should you take the time to do so when they didn’t have the decency to say just those few words. Just give up on them, let it go, don’t do anything with them....that’s the golden rule right. I know how easy it is to give up on someone, even if you care about them so much it hurts. You want to hurt them, or even worse, just ignore them. I know because I’ve done it before. It’s easy to do so. But in the end, I finally realize as I get older, that course of action does not make it easier to do or make you any happier. If you keep doing that, you end up hurting yourself because you lose that person that you may care or love, even though they might not feel the same. You lose your own heart and spirit in the long run and life becomes a pit of quicksand of depression and sorrow.
So these last few years, through the high’s and low’s that I have experienced in my 25 years of life, I’ve tried to make the decision of doing what I feel is right, though it may not have the results that I want. I know I carry away a piece of each person that I meet, have known, and care for and I have hoped they have done the same. I doing so, I have tried to acknowledge that love and caring by doing little things for those that I call my friends and family. I know by sending a card for Christmas or calling on a birthday may seem simple but it always the simples things that make life what it is. I will continue doing things such as sending cards on birthdays and Christmas to those I care for, though it may not be reciprocated, but I don’t mind. However, I am still going to acknowledge the birthday’s of all my friends and family, because I care enough to do so. I choose to do so!

My Birth-day!

Yeah, yeah...it's just another day for me! Being 25 doesn't feel any different!!! I'm one of those schmoe's that not only has to work on Christmas Eve, but his birthday! But I'm getting off from work at 1 today to go to Richmond this afternoon! My uncle is having my dad's family over tonight! God help me!
A special thanks to Ginger for sending me the gift! Right off the bat I knew the character was from the Rudolph clay-animation Christmas show! Very cute! However, I'm still having troubling linking to your journal!
Also, another special thanks and hugs go to Jodie! Thank you so much for the Star Trek Calander and the movie gift certificate!

Well, I just wanted to wish everybody a safe and wonderful Christmas!

God! Please don't let me look like this in the next 25 years!

25 Years!

I keep thinking about becoming 25 years old coming up in the next few days. It's a pretty weird age if you think about it. You think, oh my, you will be a quarter of a century old! Not really impressive I must say when you think about it. At 25 years old you can rent a car! Whoop-de-doooo....rent a car! Does anybody know why you have to be 25 to rent a car? They say at 25, your car insurance goes down. That doesn't seem to be true with me since I called about it the other day and they say that rates are going up anyway! Dammit!
At 25, you start to think, "Oh my god, my twenties are half over and I'm half way to being 30"! This actually bugs me because I'm seeing too many of my friends getting married and having children and I'm still looking for that long term relationship. I'm not actually looking to get married and have children yet but it does seem to come to mind when I see so many people my age are at it! The only thing I can really say is that my longest relationship was five months. Pretty scary!

Anyway....I'm turning 25....AND I NEED A HUG!!!! Will someone get me drunk so I don't have to think about this shit?

The Two Towers!

I saw The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers today! What a great and awesome movie! I have to give credit to Peter Jackson for making this series! I can't wait to see the third one! My favorite part was the battle of Helm's Deep. The march of the evil army of Orlacs just makes you terrified by them! Just a great battle scene!

Oh, just one piece of advice....Never go to Wal-mart during the last days before Christmas! Packed in like sardines, everyone pushing you, and nobody is looking out where they are going. That's one of the things I hate about Christmas!

Only 3 More Days!

Pie and Vodka!

Coming into work today I didn't really expect to get presents or cards. However, Dana, one of my co-workers baked several pies for a few people. She happen to give me a chocolate pie! Darryl, the Vender Information Survisor, gave me a book on Tim Allen yesterday! Also, Kim, my supervisor who runs the Merchendising department, gave us alcohol!!! I happen to get Vodka!!! This would be a good time to get drunk for the first time!!!!

Only 4 More Days!

Survivor and more Christmas Cards

I watched the finale of Survivor tonight. Brain, the Used Car Salesman, won it all! I was quite surprised too! Actually I found out he was actually a B-porn star at one time and that is why I think he won. He's an actor, and you have to fool people to win on Survivor! I think his wife is actually a B-porn star too. Don't ask me why I know this!!!
I would like to send a big thanks to my friend Amanda for sending me a card! Thank you! Also, I big, BIG thanks to my friend Kelly, Queen of NASCAR, for sending me not only a birthday card, but getting me something that I love......a gift certificate for a movie ticket!!! WHOOO HOOO! Kelly, you are such a sweetie and I will be giving you a big hug for that when I see you next time!

ONLY 5 MORE DAYS!

Holiday Wishes from Friends

I just wanted to share an e-mail that I got from a dear friend. I just wanted to share it with everybody!

Best Holiday Wishes to All...

don't take friendship or love for granted.... you can never truly know a person well enough as you think. all you can do is accept the gift of friendship, with its' amazing depth and complexity. hopefully it exists as a two way street where the most important exchange, of feelings, not really favors or gifts, is returned in thought, that you're friends have expressed receiving something from you, as a person, as you choose to share with them. sometimes it's as if you are so comfortable with each other in one instance, and in the next situation, you are a stranger to them. embrace the gift for what it is, and be well...

I couldnt' have said it better really! I know it's hard to be a friend sometimes. Sometimes I think that I haven't been a good friend, or a great friend, or even a best friend to some. I don't know if if I try to hard or don't try hard enough sometimes. But the only hope is that I can be friend and I hope they feel the same way.

May all of you who read this be safe and happy during this holiday season!

Only Six More Days!

Live Long and Prosper

Okay, I'll be the first one to tell you that I am a big Star Trek fan. Though I love it, I'm not a fanantic about it like most people. I haven't been to a convention yet nor have I dressed up as a character or alien from it! Yet, I still love watching it (the television shows and the movies) and I love the ideals it represents!
With that introduction, I just wanted to say that I went to see the new film, Star Trek: Nemesis. I have to say though that I was quite disappointed in it. Don't get me wrong, I would still go and see it again because it is Star Trek. However, I felt the movie was a big downer.
WARNING: SPOILER AHEAD!
I felt that the whole plot of the movie was just too cheesy and underdeveloped. The clone idea was a good idea but how they portrayed the villian seemed two-dimensional. Now, take Khan, who I felt was the best villian of all the movies, now there was a villian! You understood his story, his anquish, his rage against Kirk. He was a perfect mirror for Kirk. However, with Shinzon, trying to emulate the same thing with Kirk/Khan, didn't do it justice with Picard. I mean, the guy is angry at humans because he was cloned from one. It was the Romulans that cloned him and put him in a deep dark mine forever! Yet he is still angry at Picard and humans! I just don't feel it from him!
Another part of the film that just didn't help it was the dialogue! I remember one seen after Enterprise had just rammed the enemy ship, they had problems with the transporters. Picard decides to beam over to stop Shinzon and La Forge tells him that he doesn't know if he can beam him back. Right after Picard beams over, the consoles explode, and La Forge just turns to the crew and says in a monotounous tone, "Well, that's it". Pretty dramatic I must say as they all turn to look at the enemy ship thinking about Picard!
And lastly, I just didn't feel it with the death scene of Data. Over the past year, I heard rumors that Data was going to be the one to die in this so I guess I wasn't really surprised to find out when it happen. It's just how the scene comes to Data destroying the ship and himself seems so unrealistic. It also didn't have the same feeling as when Spock died in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan. In that movie, the death of Spock seemed so real and unanticipated. It was a complete shock to everyone and hit deep at the heart. Everybody thought: He's gone, oh my. I can't believe it. But with Nemesis, it didn't seem as emotional with Data because you know he has a replacement with his prototype, B4.
Like I said, I was just disappointed in this movie. I don't know if they will make more....I really hope they do. I just hope that they can write a better movie than this.

ONE MORE WEEK!!!!

ONLY 10 MORE DAYS!!!

My trip to Harrisonburg and Christmas Cards!

So I went to Harrisonburg today to check out some Log Cabins! Yes, I said Log Cabins! I'm planning on building a Log Cabin when I start building a house. I really found some nice designs! It's hard to decide on what I want. Well, I still have a few months to go before I have to decide on a final design anyway. Before going to Harrisonburg, we first went to a lumber company that makes wood for log cabins. You know how that is exciting....when you check out wood! Well, it's one of those things you have to do in the long process of building a home!

I got a letter from my friend Chau today! I'm so happy to hear from her! She's is the type that won't reach and talk to someone, if you know what I mean! So what, it's still good to hear from her! She also sent me a pen from the CIA!! It's probably got a bug in it!!! HEHEHEHE!

I also got a Christmas card from my wonderful friend, FangedFem, the Queen of the Dark Arts and Models! It's always a pleasure to hear from you! I hope everything is going well with you! I hear that you are in love again which I am greatly happy for you! ;)

Holiday Greetings!

I just wanted to say a special thanks to Kelly, the Queen of NASCAR, and Kristina, the Sexy Essex Goddess, for sending me a holiday card out to me! I appreciate it! It warms my heart to know you care! Best wishes to all!

Only 11 more days!

Being an adult!

So yesterday I went by the bank to discuss with them on buying land and building a new house! The current plan is to buy my uncle's trailer and the couple of acres that he owns. The land is beautiful, located about 20 minutes from the town of Crozet! My father is really helping me out by going to the bank, looking at designs, and drawing up the paper work. Yesterday was the first step in getting things started. But to tell you the truth.....I'm scared to death about this.
The reason being is that this is the prime example of what being an adult is. To move on, to make those hard decisions, not knowing what can come. You have to ask yourself..."Is this the right thing to do?" I've been asking that for the last two years, ever since I graduated from college. I thought I knew what I was going to do afterwards but plans change and you have to go into a different direction to accomplish your goals! I honestly didnt' know what I was going to do after college. The only thing I wanted to do was to stay in Northern Virginia to be around friends and get that job that I had no clue what I wanted. I didn't think I would be coming back home and having to rely on my parents for the last two years!
But now, with building a home, comes that point of actually realizing that I am an adult. I don't have my own family to raise but it's a possiblity in the near future. It doesn't mean I have to stay in the area for the rest of my life but I'm starting to build a home of my own. It's pretty damn scary for sure! That's what adults have to go through though.....those hard decisions and going through the consequences on your actions.
I have to honest also that there was another adult decision that I made just recently. For the past six weeks, I have been dating a co-worker. Now that may not seem as tragic or controversial as you may think, but the truth of the matter is that she is 31, recently seperated, and has three kids! It's a very complicated subject but I'm not going into detail about it for now. I never expected to date this woman but it happened. We seem to have a connection and I...well, WE....wanted to see it where it would lead us. The truth is that when we faced the certainty of our relationship, she had more feelings for me that I had for her. I didn't know if I could ever have those same feelings for her as she does for me, though I did care for her! So over the weekend, we ended the relatioinship, which was extremely difficult to do, even as an adult.
I hold a secret that I feel I should tell you right now. I have a written journal that I keep that I write in for other moments of my life that I don't want to share with the world. I decided on the first page of this journal that I would write the names of every person that has effected me during my life, both in good and bad experiences. It's a way to help me remember things, events, and those special to me for I worry that I would forget them as time passed on....as I grew older as an adult. I don't want to forget but I don't want to lose both the pain and the passion that I have kept inside. I have a strange empathy for those that I feel have had an impact in my life and I don't want to lose that. So I have decided to write another name down in my journal, because she has had an impace in my life for which I never want to forget.

"I lie silently in the shadows of the world, torn between the morally righteous and the sinfully delighted."

ONLY 12 MORE DAYS!

Did you ever have one of those days where you just wanted to go nuts and do things that you were told not to do in the past? Like me, being at work right now, I have this urge to run around the office with scissors! Not the most professional thing to do...since I'm sure it would get me fired!!! I guess I'm just restless, having to be stuck indoors because of the cold and snow! Actually now that I think about it, I've asked myself "Have I done anything crazy like running with scissors"? I don't know that answer because I really can't remember!

ONLY TWO MORE WEEKS!!!!

The Winter Wonderland!

So I made it into work today just fine. My father had to drive from Fluvanna all the way out to Albermarle past the Airport. Except for some spots, the roads seemed fine. I have to say that thought that some people who think that they have 4WD and SUV's and can drive really fast on slick roads.....ARE DUMBASSES!!! That's all I have to say about that!
Well, hopefully, I can get outside today and have a snowball fight with some of my co-workers today! I hope everyone is warm and snug on this cold day!

IT'S SNOWING!

WHOOO HOOOO!!! It's a shame that I still have to go to work tomorrow still! They have a "No Snowday" policy! MAN!!! I miss school!!! I miss the sledding and the snow ball fights with everybody from school!! OH well! I have to wait until I get kids!

My Virginia Cavaliers!

Ok, even though I'm not really big into sports, I do have strong tendencies to support the Virginia Cavaliers....since they are located where I live! Right now I'm really disappointed in the way their football team has been treated! They started off slow but finished 2nd in the ACC standings!!! 2ND (They should be since they beat Maryland)!!!! That should count for something when Bowl bids come around, right??? BUT NO!!!! It's a slap in the face to them when they are 2nd place and the teams, which they beat this season (nationally ranked Maryland, NC State, and even Clemson, which are all good teams) and still get passed by those in charge of selecting teams to go to Bowl games! Virginia should be going to the Peach Bowl or the Tangerine Bowl, but lower teams are going before them! It's all because the people in charge of selecting the bowls want coverage and they feel that the Cav's don't bring alot of coverage!!

This is what the standings are!!!

ACC Conf All
Florida St (18) 7-1 9-4
Maryland (19) 6-2 10-3
Virginia 6-2 8-5
No Carolina St (17) 5-3 10-3
Clemson 4-4 7-5
Georgia Tech 4-4 7-5
Wake Forest 3-5 6-6
North Carolina 1-7 3-9
Duke 0-8 2-10

IT'S A DAMN OUTRAGE!!!! The Cav's deserve better!!!

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