Crispy's Corner

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Location: Charlottesville, Virginia, United States

Monday, July 29, 2002

10 REASON WHY I AM A FREAK!

1. I don't like vegetables
2. I don't just sneeze, I have sneezing fits!
3. I still play with LEGOS...including Star Wars legos
4. I'm hairy
5. I shed
6. I shed but I still have a lot of hair.
7. I can crack my knuckles anytime time
8. I can make owl calls
9. I have red sideburns even though I have black hair!
10. I live in a bubble...well...not literally!

I freely admit that I am a freak. I say that because I hate the word "normal". When we say someone is not "normal", who are are comparing them to? Us? If we do that, we do we compare ourselves to then? There are over 6 billon people in this world....so is just one person normal? If everyone was the same......we would be boring! There would be no varity in the world....no color, no definition!
I tell a friend constantly that she is weird! That is a compliment because that means she is unique!!!! So that is why I am a freak....because I am unique!!!! So the next time you say "They are not normal!".....ask yourself....

ARE YOU?

So, I dare you to make a list of what makes you a freak....uh...unique...and send them to your friends! I'm sure it will be fun!

Sunday, July 28, 2002

I await for her, my true love to be,
ever so patiently along the path of eternity.
I know not her name, never spoken,
nor her presence, never felt.
But by will of God, or simple fate,
I will meet my life's true soul mate.
The time will come when angels sing and heavens part,
my true love is close, telling me by
the heavy beating of my heart.


A poem that I soon hope to finish. Like life....it will continue and change. I know at times I lose hope....but I know that life has it's surprises. I pass forth this poem and messege to all who read this.....don't lose heart or hope in your search! Share your troubled heart and soul to those closest to you. You'll be surprised that they face the same challenges.

You know....I keep saying over and over....I can't help but wonder how we, as a species, survived the Middle Ages! I ask myself that after working in the ticket office at Monticello again today. People can be sooooo dumb at times! They can ask the most dumbest questions like..."Is this Monticello?" or ask what the prices are when there's a big white sign in front of them telling them! I can't help but think of what my father says to me when I ask a stupid question...."IF IT HAD TEETH, IT WOULD BITE YOU!!!"
I don't think I have the patience to work there anymore. I don't think I have patience dealing with stupidity....even though I'm guilty of it myself sometimes! I don't think I can work in customer service. My supervisor asked if I could work a few days in September or October.....I DON"T THINK SO!!!!

Saturday, July 27, 2002

EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS!!!!

No...I'm not talking about a line of four sorority sisters! Close though!!!! I'm talking about the movie that's out which I went to see today. It's one of those "B-movie" movies about a group of giant mutated spiders that go rampant on a small little town. It stars David Arquette and Keri Wurher.
Now I was actually surprised with David Arquette in this movie. Most of his recent movies....except for the rare few like Scream....were just crappy with him in it. Though it was a bad movie....he did a decent part with it! I still don't understand why Courtney Cox is married to him!
Keri Wurher, who is always a hottie, played the strong female role as the sheriff of the little town. I like those strong female roles.....I love to see them kick ass! Though the only thing I couldn't believe from her in this role was that she played a mother of two. She isn't that old...though in the movie they explained this by saying she had a kid at 16. Still if she was a mom....she still is a hottie!
So as a personal critic to this "B-movie" movie.....I would give it a D+. I would just save your money and wait for it on video. Actually, if you really can't wait to see this movie but don't want to spend the money.....I would just suggest mutating some spiders on your own and release them on a small little town. May I suggest the town of Charlottesville?

Friday, July 26, 2002

THATS ME WITHOUT YOU

A night with no moonlight;
A day with no sun;
A plane with no pilot;
A watch that won't run;
A tree with no branches;
A rose with no petals;
A boy with no sweetheart;
That's me without you.

A train with no whistle;
A car with no gas;
A well with no water;
A love with no future;
A sky with no blue;
A boy withno sweetheart;
That's me without you.

A bank with no money;
A top that won't spin;
A book with no story;
A love I can't win;
A chair with no bottom;
A rig with no crew;
A song with no music;
That's me without you.

A court with no jury;
A church with no pew;
A boy with no sweetheart;
That's me without you.


This poem was written by my grandfather long ago to my grandmother. He was in the Navy and this was written to her when they were apart. They divorced in the 60's and he died 17 years ago. I found this poem in his things when I went through some his stuff a few years ago. I was surprised to find this because as it happens, poetry seems to run in our family.....from my grandfather, to my father, and I started while I was High School.
I'm sharing this with who ever is reading this because it does hold special meaning. I'm the boy with no sweetheart.....I am not whole. It's a Friday night and I am home. I was just feeling a bit lonely and meloncholy tonight. I hope others are whole!

Thursday, July 25, 2002

Just a followup to yesterday. Jason.....my supervisor...did not come into work wearing a dress today! Shucks!!! However, I think he said he will dress up like Me Me from the Drew Carey show for Halloween! But still....that is not the same as coming in on any other day of the year!!! I gotta see about making another bet with him soon! If you have any ideas about wierd and funny wager's to bets...please send your ideas to me!

Wednesday, July 24, 2002

Funny story today at work:

I was talking to my supervisor, Jason, about me not knowing about vehicles. It seems essential since I work at a Automotive car company! Anyway, he tells that we have to find a way for me to learn more about vehicles through some sort of system. Now at this point....realizing that I watch too many movies in my life time....I said that I do the same thing that happened in the movie "Major League 2".

Now for those that do not know the movie....here is a brief synopsis of it.
1. It's a baseball movie
2. In the movie...it's about a bunch of misfits on the Cleveland Indians
3. The catcher...."Rube"... of the team has a problem throwing the ball back to the pitcher
4. The assistant Manager....played by Tom Beringer.....thinks of a way for Rube to control his pitching to the pitcher
5. The answer.....Rube reads Playboy....the manger tells Rube to think of Playboy playmates info and think about that when he is throwing back to pitcher.

So I thought of this when Jason was telling me this. However, when I said that it was Major League 2....but he said it was Major League 1. So we keep saying to each other what we thought was the right movie. After a few minutes going back and forth, Jason says why don't we bet on this. Now at this point I'm reluctant to bet even though I know I'm right. At first we shake on it but we don't say what we win who ever is right. I first suggest 10 bucks since I'm so poor!!! Then he suggests that the loser buy the winner lunch! So I say sure....why not.
A few minutes later, Jason walks by and says he thought of something more funny to bet on! He said who ever loses, has to wear a dress!!!! I say to him that I can't wear a dress because of my hairy legs....but he is so willing to wear the dress since he believes he is right!! Now what you didn't know is Jason is a very "big" guy!!! I don't know if he could fit in a dress!
Well, we finally decided to check on the internet to see which movie it was in. We found out that I was right...it was in Major League 2. Jason admitted that I was right!!! WHOO HOOO!!!!
Now at that point, when Jason suggested wearing a dress....Dana, whose cubicle is behind me...overheard us. When she heard about the bet and Jason wearing a dress.....she started to crack up with laughter!!! It was one of those long laughs that made her red in the face and cry!!! Both of us at that point could not stop laughing for at least a half an hour when we thought of Jason wearing a dress!!!
Well...I guess it's one of those "Had to be there" moments! But it did make me feel better for the rest of the day!

A few weeks ago, I started my new postion for the company that I have been working for since the very beginning of the year. When I started, I was downstairs with the rest of the customer service and support, as a Web Assistant. Now, my new position as Dropship Data Specialist, I am working upstairs with management! I can tell you that there is a difference between the two floors. However, it didn't really sink in until today when I received my new chair....with arm rests!!!! They had to order it for me too!!!! I can't help but hear the theme song to the old television series The Jeffersons.....the song...."Moving on Up"! ;)

Tuesday, July 23, 2002

This song seems appropriate for tonight:

I close my eyes, only for a moment and
the moment's gone
All my dreams, pass before my eyes
a curiosity
Dust in the wind, All they are is dust in
the wind
Same old song, just a drop of water in an
endless sea
All we do, crumbles to the ground
though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind, All we are is dust in
the wind
Don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but
the earth and sky
It slips away, all your money won't
another minute buy
Dust in the wind, All we are is dust in
the wind


KANSAS, "Dust in the Wind"

My heart and soul go out to a dear friend of mine whose mom past away this morning. I wish I could be there with her to hug and hold her and to wipe her tears away. I wish I could say something to consol her in her hurt and saddness but I do want her to know that I'm am here for her if she needs me. My prayers are for her tonight.

A special friend sent me this song:

The world ways on my shoulders
But what am I to do?
You sometimes drive me crazy
But I worry about you
I know it makes no difference
To what you are going through
But I've seen the tip of the iceberg
And I worry about you


Her story is that the song was passed to her by a friend during her trying times at the moment. She thought she would share this with the people that she loved...friends and family. It seems appropriate at the moment since I don't feel well at the moment. I'm glad to have friends that pass me along these messeges of caring. I know a few out there that might be reading this should take heart that I care enough to worry about you.

Monday, July 22, 2002

Yesterday I felt like shit!

The reason: I had a sore throat when I woke up. Now you are thinking...it's Sunday, you can stay in bed all day if you wanted to. That wasn't the case. I had to work on Sunday in the Ticket Office at Monticello....the home of Thomas Jefferson. I stopped working there when I got my job here at Autosport at the beginning of the year. The reason I worked in the Ticket Office is that Lee...the supervisor....needed a favor because he was short handed. Actually I do it mostly because he knows me so well working that I can use him and Monticello as a reference!
Anyway, I thought I was going to be fine yesterday. WRONG!!! You have to realize that on weekends in the summer, Monticello has about 3 thousand visitors aday!!! I have to say the same thing to about half of them!!! Usually at first if there are a few people at time that come up to the Ticket Office, all I have to do is to tell these people..."Line up behind the chimney and wait for the next shuttle". It's not a problem when we have visitor service people directing them where to go. However it gets crazy once the bulk of the visitors starts coming in. One by one, they keep coming in like an assembly line!!! IT NEVER STOPS!!!
When the visitors come in at a pace where there is no end, they start to ask the same questions: "Where's the shuttle?" "Where's the house?" Where do I line up for the tour?" The kicker to this that when we get so many people coming, we start to use a system of time cards telling people when to line up for the tour. I have actually worked on my speech to tell these people this and I use it over and over. This is my speech:

"Once you buy your tickets, you line up for the shuttle behind the chimney to take you to the house. When you get off, you will get a time card that tells you what time to be in line for the house tour. In the mean time, you can tour the grounds and gardens."

It seems easy right? Well, try saying that to each person that comes up to buy a ticket. You get tired and frustrated, wishing that one of the visitor service people would tell them this. They actually do sometimes, but then those same visitors that were told this, would ask you the same question!!!
Well, once your tired...and with me with the sore throat....your voice eventually begins to fade or you start to babble like I did yesterday. The words from my speech started to run together or made no sense. This is what It started to sound like:

"Once you bite your crickets, sign up for the snuggle behind the skinned knee. When you get off, you will get a mime hard that sells you what sign to be in line for the horse tour. I am a mean mime, you can tour the mound and harden."

See....it doesn't make sense!!!!

And I have to do it again next Sunday!

Saturday, July 20, 2002

RANDOM THOUGHT OF THE DAY
--If he shot the sheriff....then who shot the deputy?--

Well, I just finished watching "The Others" starring Nicole Kidman. If you haven't seen....which if you do want to, don't read further....it try's to emulate the success of "The Sixth Sense". Though I enjoyed it's suspenseful thriller like theme....I thought the movie was a bit slow and I was falling asleep in the middle of the movie. If you haven't noticed yet....I have a way with words don't I! And think, I could have gone and seen "Eight Legged Freaks" today instead of renting the "The Others"!

EX GIRLFRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS

We all have them. There are some you wish that you never dated. Your life would have been much better if you never meet them. The fights, the lies, the heartache.....left from the shambles that was the relationship. Then there were the ones that you never forget...never want to forget....because you wish they were still in your life. You stayed up till the sun rose the next day talking to them, sharing the many hours of laughter and tears, remembering that first time you made love to each other, and hearing the sweet sound of "I love you" come from their lips. You feel the world has ended when that day comes in losing them. In either case, you move on, farther in life and make new relationships, but you never leave the memories behind.

However, what happens when you remain friends with your ex afterwards? Does it become harder to know that the other is moving on with you? You see them laugh with another and you wonder if that was the same laugh that they had with you. Does it drive you crazy with jealousy that you are not the focus of their life? And will this feeling end when you find someone else? Is it true that is better to have love and lost then to have never loved before?

I guess the reason behind this entry is that I had an unusual dream about my last girlfriend last night. We dated for about five months and this was actually my longest relationship I have had. You know how it is....it starts out great when you meet, everybody thinks she is perfect for you....but after awhile things change, you know more about the other, and you start to grow apart. In the dream, I am coming out of a shopping center/store into the parking lot. I see three people walk toward me to store. As they get closer, I see it is my ex-girlfriend hanging on the arm of another man and with her best friend. She has changed her looks....less innocent but more mature. They laugh and smile like there is no care in world. As I walk past them, we both see each other gazing at the other. She gives me a stare like you give to someone who you recognize from your past but can't remember when and where you meet them. She doesn't say anything and I don't say a word either....we just past each other under the lights of the parking lot. It lasts a few seconds but it feels as though time stands still for this stare. She then turns around, laughing and carrying on with her new love and best friend and I go to my car, alone in the dark.
I guess that's what I am afriad of with any relationship....to be forgotten, to be passed on. I do not want to be just a memory or just another face in the crowd that you pass by. But we all have to face that fear....we face the fact that we move on.

WE JUST MOVE ON

Thursday, July 18, 2002

You have to love mom!

So I'm watching the movie "Summer Catch" with Freddie Prinz Jr, which is about baseball. My mom comes down to join me and starts watching it with me! At first she is doing something else....I think writing letters or something. After a while, I look over and there she is watching the movie. I see this and ask her does she like the movie and she tells me yeah. Not only is she watching it but she is actually liking it and getting into the whole story. She "awww's" and "coo's" over the love story between the main characters, calling it young love!!! I can't help but laugh at it. She even starts crying when the two characters, Freddie Prinz and Jessica Beihl, love each other but can't see each other because they are on different sides of the "track". The movie is so laughable and corny but my mom absolutely LOVES IT!!!!! At the end, I regretfully ask how she likes and she replys..."It was a good movie!!!" I just had to let out a big laugh at that point!!!! Apparently she hasn't seen all of Freddie Prinz Jr's movies!! Why should she.....if you see one.....you've seen them all!!!
Well, that's about it that has happened today. Tomorrow is Friday and I'm glad it's the end of the week!

Do you ever stand in front of the mirror and wonder who you are looking at? I do all the time. It's like the person that I see is the not the person that I am. I know the body is just the shell but do you ever feel the it's the wrong shell that you are looking at? You look and stare but the image is still there......YOU! But if you change something about it....you become a different person...or so you think. Putting on makeup, dying your hair a different color, or in my case....growing a beard/goatee! I notice that when I'm clean shaven, I feel "naked". However when I have the goatee, I feel much different and oddly....normal!

The next thought that comes to mind is how other's see you! Do they see the same thing that you see? Most people never really see you as you are or you just become another face in the vast sea of faces of this world to them. But for those that really do see you, do they see the same thing as you do? You can't really come out and ask them because the answer is different each time. One can see the ugly duckling in us while another can see the beautiful swan that we are!

Anyway it really doesn't matter because:

WE ARE WHO WE ARE

Tuesday, July 16, 2002

RANDOM QUESTION:

If your life was compared to a T.V. channel, which one would it be?

My answer: C-SPAN --- all talk and I would put you to sleep!

So I finally took my parents out to dinner for their anniversery tonight. They celebrated their 25th anniversery on July 1st. They went to Las Vegas on their anniversery so I could not take them out for it. Actually I was planning a surprise party for them with all our family and close family friends. See, the hard part about trying to surprise my parents is for me to keep it a secret from them WHILE living at home with them. It's harder keeping a secret from my father because he seems to know what is going on. He keeps saying that he has spies all around and knows what I'm doing. So, my plan was to let my aunts April and Wanda help out. My initial plan was to hold a surprise dinner at the restaurant that my cousin Lesa owns. I went to April first with the plan and she started to think about who to invite. I was a bit hesitant when she began to spitting out names of friends that her and my mom knows. I didn't want this to be a big thing!
I then asked my aunt Wanda and cousin Dee for help. Dee actually suggested holding a dinner at the local hall above the Fire Department where I live! Now at this point I thought..."How the hell am I going to convince my parents to come to this hall as a surprise....because every party we've been to has been there! Keeping a secret from my father comes into the picture again! He knows everything! Well, I think the straw that finally broke the camel's back...or so to speak....was the suggestion of a band. I can't afford a band, let alone the food and decorations!!!! I'm broke....living on 8 dollars an hour....living with my folks! Did I mention I live with my folks?
So I decided not to do the surprise dinner for my parents. So, instead I took them out for dinner tonight and told them the whole story. Well, you know mom! She told me it was alright....but it wasn't to me! I was disappointed because I set out to do something like the surprise and it fell to pieces! What the hell am I going to do when I get a girlfriend/wife and kids if I can't even throw a party for my folks! First of all...the moral of the story is....PLAN AHEAD....way ahead! Secondly, just do it! That is my advice. Well......maybe I can plan for their 30th Anniversery......I got 5 more years! We'll see.

So the movie "Braveheart" is on the t.v. now. A great movie to say the least. The one line that sticks out the most for me from that movie is when Braveheart (aka...Mel Gibson) says...."Every man dies.....not every man really lives." I think it hits a point right now. I don't feel like I'm truly living right now. I'm here alone at the house that I'm house sitting for and I can't help but feel that life is just passing me by and I don't know what to do. It's a scary thought! My fear right now is that I'm going to grow old alone. Eventually as I get older, that fear will get me to realize that I have to get my ass up and go out and socialize....make new friends....see new things! Wish me luck!

Monday, July 15, 2002

I have finally fallen to my temptation. Lately I have been addicted to reading my friend's journals to find out what goes on in their lives! I have asked myself what is the purpose of a journal being online? For me, the answer is simple....for those that read my journal to get to know me. For those that think that know me, do not. But it is not their fault. I do not open up that freely, even those that are "close" to me. The question now is "Do you really want to know me?"